2009

SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sakit

Orang tengok aku ok je
tapi orang tak tahu perasaan sebenar dalam hati aku ni
aku tau perasaan yang aku sedang rasa ni
dan aku mengaku yang aku memang tak patut ade perasaan ni
aku marah2 diri aku, macam mana aku boleh jadi macam ni
dulu2 xpernah pun aku rasa macam ni, kuat pulak tu perasaan ni
oleh sebab ni mcm kali pertama perasaan ini datang dengan kuat, aku menjadi lemah
aku hampir tak boleh nak mengawal lagi diri aku
perasaan tersebut hampir menguasai diri aku
perasaan tu juga sakit. amat sakit. dada ni terasa mcm ditikam-tikam dengan kejam
perasaan ni menipiskan lagi keyakinan diri aku yang memang da cukup tipis da pun
selain tu, aku juga rasa mcm semua orang telah atau akan merampas segala kepunyaan aku

people are taking away those i held dear; someone, something, things i'm most passionate about, and little of what's left of my petty self confidence.....

kesabaran makin hilang

Selasa dan Rabu ni (11hb & 12hb Ogos 2009) akan diadakan persembahan Menora dan Wayang Kulit (respectively) di dataran FACT pada pukul 9mlm (kot, xigt la) pada kedua2 malam. yang aku tak sabarnya sebab aku dan konco2 aku akan memainkan muzik untuk Wayang Kulit pada malam itu! Aku akan maen geduk ibu & gendang ibu, AJ maen geduk anak, kecik maen gendang anak, sara maen bende cim-cap tu (lupa nama), jess maen bende ting-tong tu (lupe gk nama, da lama xmaen w.kulit hahah), nik maen gong, taufiq n ana pulak maen gedombak ibu dan anak (respectively). kitorang sume naek excited gila xigt dunia punya bile dapat tau yg kitorang akan perform pada mlm tu nnt. masing2 memang mempunyai minat yang dalam terhadap terhadap wayang kulit sampai kitorang sume agak disappointed sebab wayang kulit sampai sem 2 sahaja. masing2 jugak memang pro habis la maen alat muzik masing2 sampai pak ya n cikgu2 dr kelantan tu ckp mmg kitorang group terbaik yg diorang pernah ajar, sampai pernah ckp yg nak bawak kitorang maen kt thailand, indonesia n overseas (walaweyh!) esok dan lusa (isnin dan selasa) kitorang akan buat rehearsal. masing2 pulak cuak sbb da lama xmaen, and xigt cue, n ade 2 hari je rehearsal!!! =S tapi aku yakin yg sume akan memainkan muzik mlm tu dgn baik dan insyaAllah sume org akan terhibur n harap2 dekan n lecturer2 sume akan suke gile2 dgn kitorang sampai nk hantar overseas ke huahahahaahhh!!

jadi, to all puncakians, jgn lupa tengok persembahan Menora pada selasa, 11hb Ogos 2009, dan yang paling penting, jangan miss tengok Wayang Kulit pada 12hb Ogod 2009, pukul 9mlm ntuk dua2 malam! wish us luck!!!!!!!!

loser with a capital L.

i hate how people can be so damn shallow
i hate how they only prefer all that glitters
i hate how they don't know/don't care that not all that glitters are gold.

rain

finally, after yesterday's false alarms, it rained today!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am happy and contented. i absolutely love the rain. almost everyday i pray for it because rain makes me feel rejuvenated. and i can wear cozy clothes to snuggle in as it is cold enough to do so =) especially when i'm back at the uni at puncak perdana, i begged for rain everyday because it can be quite hot up there! and rain gave me the excuse to wear my white hoodie as i rarely wear them and only wear them when it rains lol. anyways, yesterday, the whole family went to Satay Station at jalan kampung pandan. it was such a pretty place and the food is exquisite! one of the best satays i've had so far! (of course the best would be our own homemade satay!)

the satay station

everyone's full!

Hugo, Alya n Mika!

Alya and her Mummy

Mummy and Aunt. Zoe

Kenyang sampai nak terbongkang!

the end.

Happy Birthday Kak Sheena!

every birthday must have a cake, and it's up to me this time!

memang xsah kalau xde cupcakes.

-

all the ingredients and tools

my outfit for the night. baju still bau kedai, hahah.

the birthday girl with Aunt. Zoe

Ferra baru bangun, and she's groggy!

-

Hugo, Mika and Abg. Yus

Bringing all the food downstairs.

Aaliya made this sign heehee.

Malteser Cake by yours truly ;P

"happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....."

Happy 24th Birthday Kak Sheena. Live Long and Prosper.

self pity

babyherry_herix: memang geng godunk seme kaki tdoww...
Mel: hahahaha
Mel: aku x dowh
Mel: hahahaha
babyherry_herix: u makan!!!!!!
Mel: hell no
Mel: hahahahahhh
babyherry_herix: ibu roti!!!!
babyherry_herix: zul2...
babyherry_herix: kuat makan!11
Mel: pantat\
Mel: hahahahahahahh
Mel: zul bapak roti dowh
Mel: hahahaha
Mel: n zul yg kuat makan
babyherry_herix: hahaaa.........
Mel: nape korang ckp aku yg kuat makan aku pun xpaham
Mel: hahahahaha
babyherry_herix: tak2....
babyherry_herix: mel kuat...
babyherry_herix: kuat skodeng emil!!!!
Mel: hahahahhaa
Mel: mmg pon
Mel: tp
Mel: skarang agak kecundang
Mel: xnak skodeng bf org weh
Mel: jahattttt
babyherry_herix: u lambat!!!!!!!!!
Mel: hhahahaah
Mel: ye la
Mel: lambat dlm 2 tahun la kan
babyherry_herix: agak arh...
babyherry_herix: takpe2...
Mel: diorang da lame dowh
Mel: xnak kacauuu
Mel: hahahahahahh
babyherry_herix: kumbang bukan seko...
Mel: yeah
Mel: but kumbang unik mcm die susah nk jumpe
babyherry_herix: tak cari...
babyherry_herix: camne nak jumper...!!!!
Mel: hahaha
Mel: ye la ye la
Mel: nnt aku cari la
Mel: adehhh
Mel: haha
babyherry_herix: eh...
babyherry_herix: cam desperate ar plak..!!!!!!!
babyherry_herix: huhuhuuuuuuu..
Mel: agak arrr
Mel: hahahaha
Mel: no la
Mel: xdesperate
Mel: just
Mel: i dont know
Mel: tgk korang sume
babyherry_herix: hahahahaaaaaaa.
Mel: sume ade pasangan masing2
Mel: dlm gdnk, aku sorang je kot single
Mel: hahaha
babyherry_herix: ala...lek ar...
babyherry_herix: jodoh lum sampai ar tuh..
babyherry_herix: single syok ape..??
Mel: hahahaha
Mel: mmg syok
Mel: skejap syok ah
Mel: kalau lame bosan gile dowhhhh
Mel: hahaha
Mel: da la puncak tu bosan
Mel: if ade bf kt sane best gk
babyherry_herix: u da couple t...
babyherry_herix: haaaa...
Mel: bosan2 je bole lepak kt bwh blok
Mel: ngahahahahahaahh
babyherry_herix: u taw ar camne..
Mel: hahaha
Mel: tu laen cite arr
Mel: hahahahah
Mel: but
Mel: kadang2 ok gk single
babyherry_herix: haah...
Mel: xde nk serabut mcm korang
babyherry_herix: da gadoh...
Mel: sbb aku tgk korang sume ade2 je!!
Mel: hahahahahahaha
babyherry_herix: 1 puncak taw...
Mel: lol!
babyherry_herix: berangkot kotak bagai...
babyherry_herix: bile da gado...
Mel: hahahahahahhhh!
Mel: hell yeah
Mel: mcm ***** n ***
Mel: setiapminggu angkut kotak
babyherry_herix: betol ar tuh!!!!
Mel: org tgk mesti org pikir "diorang ni xhabis2 lagi ke unpack time sampai puncak?"
Mel: or
babyherry_herix: da cam keje kilang doh.
Mel: "diorang ni xsabar nak balik raya sampai dah packing ke?"
Mel: hahahahaha
babyherry_herix: hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
babyherry_herix:
Mel: hahah



ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhfuck *sigh*

light that the dark brings

thank you H1N1. now i have a 1 week semester break. and i also have no idea what fill into my suddenly empty calendar. hmmmmmmm......

little heart

this little heart loves to sing. this little heart loves music. this little heart is too selfless. this little heart is too nice. this little heart is too giving. this little heart is too soft. this little heart is forgiving. this little heart is calm and contented. this little heart is sometimes mellow. this little heart is sometimes depressed. this little heart is indecisive. this little heart loves to dream. this little heart wants a lot of things. this little heart never gets them. this little heart always falls for the wrong one. but this little heart wants its other half. this little heart is mine.

Into The Wild.

Into The Wild can easily be summed up in one word; Powerful. It was based on a true story about a young man who feels that there is more to life than graduating college, working a decent well-paid job, all the materiality, hypocrisy, unfairness & unjust, dealing with troubled parents who seems to never care about anything else but living a mediocre life and shielding the dark side of the house away from judging eyes. It is a tale not about finding oneself; it has been found and is being pursuit.

I watch this movie with such an awe and respect for the young man. Chris must have been a brave person who kept true to his virtue without letting anyone tarnishing it. Almost each and every scene got me wondering, where the hell did this one 20-something guy found the guts and went on such a self-revolutionary adventure? Some might think that he had gone mental, which happened quite sometime towards the end of the movie, but I think that he is a genius. How many people are there who could have ever thought about hitchhiking through America and living life off wild animals and edible plants deep in the forest, and better yet, actually making it a reality?

By heart, Into The Wild was an eye-opener, awe-inspiring story told beautifully with graceful raw edges that should be told to everyone. It has definitely inspire me to better myself in this cruel, cruel world, but it has also made me realized that amidst all the hypocrites, there are a handful of genuine people that will teach us some of life’s important lessons and I hope that I will someday find my own. My only regret about this empowering movie is that I wish Chris had survived, and lived to tell his own beautiful story himself.

bad attempt at trying to put emotions into pretty words.

pabila hati ini melayang tinggi ke awang-awangan
berada di dunia kayangan penuh fantasi
pabila hati ini jatuh bawah ke tanah
berada di dunia realiti penuh kekecewaan.

yeah.
dah dua kali ku kecewa.
tapi, life has to go on, and this heart just have to deal with it...

current hobbies and lusts

I now have a hobby of reading fashion blogs. they're pretty cool and it definitely helped me look for styles that i love. the only downside of it is that it caused me to feel intense liking/love toward items of clothing that are hard to find here in Malaysia, and being a regular student, are truly out of my financial reach. i now lust over this amazing pair of shoes.





they're one of the pairs from Converse's line of The Doors inspired shoes. i absolutely LOVE this one!! i've always wanted a pair of leather boots but wasn't keen on getting actual ones. this particular pair is leather, it's black, it's extra high high-top chucks, it's from Converse, The Doors are awesome, it looks like a pair of boots but it's not and it's PERFECT!!!! i imagine myself wearing these bad boys to toughen up a simple black babydoll dress or any classy dress, paired with tights and and stacked up silver bangles. or maybe with a loose oversized shirt and a pair of leggings or bleached blue jeans tucked into the shoes. ahhhh how i wish........

010690

my birthday sucked. period. it's bad enough that i feel old and was not in the mood for any kind of acknowledgment such as wishes and stuff. and that morning he had to come and further ruin my already low, low mood and forgot about my birthday. i did nothing at all on my birthday, i only watch tv and went online a bit and eat and thats just it. but that night my family decided to have my birthday dinner with the whole family, at hartamas square. WTF! i was deeply embarassed. i wish i could just leave. it was very awkward and i can see that most of us were uncomfortable. they could at least pick someplace else which is waaaay more appropriate for a family dinner, let alone a birthday. worst.birthday.ever.

at least the cake was super yummy

and i got a kickass birthday present from my sisters

290509

the gedikness @ subway

on the way to buy ourselves some terminator tickets!

boys will be boys

ary and rosma

ary wants a picture with am

azfar all blurred out

goodbye.

picnic!

210509

mel, izzah, alya, adella, kamal (photographer) kelaparan!

adella : jgn amek dulu! org tgh baring ni, nampak mcm godzilla x?

picture perfect =)

i love my girl-friends =)

forever 21 18

my birthday's coming up in a week, and i hate it.
i don't want to turn 19.
i want to be forever 18.
where is Edward Cullen when i need him?!!

puncak perdana....

i might actually miss it terribly...

melylolo arylala

indie goodness 150309

I'd read it everyday...

It's hard to wake up
when the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted, it's so pathetic
it makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say
the words rot and fall away
My stupid poem could fix this home
I'd read it every day

So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time
you gave it all away.
It was mine, so when you're dead and gone,
will you remember this night?
twenty years now lost.
It's not right.

Their anger hurts my ears
been running strong for seven years
Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them
it makes no sense at all
I see them everyday
we get along so why can't they?
If this is what he wants, and it's what she wants
then why is there so much pain?

So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time
you gave it all away.
It was mine, so when you're dead and gone,
will you remember this night?
twenty years now lost
It's not right.

So here's your holiday,
hope you enjoy it this time
you gave it all away.
It was mine, so when you're dead and gone,
will you remember this night?
twenty years now lost.
It's not right
It's not right
It's not right
It's not right

Blink-182 - Stay Together For The Kids

you don't talk of.........

the exams has finally started for me. i had my first paper this morning, which was Appreciation of Asian Arts. it was nervewrecking at first but thank goodness i was able to answer them smoothly. and now, 5 more papers to go -_-..........

in the afternoon, i hung out with one of my best friends. we strolled around sacc mall and etc because we were sooooo fucking bored holed out at puncak. afterwards we had an early dinner at McDonalds and had a lot of fun talking and gossiping. we also talked about our worries about the future. worries about how will we be like when we get older. we even talked about the kiamat, hari kiamat, an inevitable day and just waiting to happen anytime. agak cuak sebab kitorang takut yg nnt xsempat taubat sebelum hari tersebut. ye la, masing2 boleh tahan la dosa2 sume. muda lagi, masih active mencuba benda2 baru, including benda2 yang membawa kpd dosa. eeeeeee takot!

nowadays i'm veeeeery paranoid about death and the end of the world. everywhere i go, everything i do makes me worry that i might die anytime because of it. i don't want to die. not yet. i want to live my life to the fullest. i want to have a real job. i want to own my own home, i wanna get married, i wanna have lots and lots of babieeesssss!!!!!! hahah.

oh well. lets just pray for the best in our lives.

back to the top of the world Puncak Perdana

yuppp... i'm back! and the weather couldn't get any hotter than here =(
it's midnight. i want to sleep. but it has been almost a week that i hadn't been online, so, yeah.
exams will start this wednesday and i'm kinda scared. i haven't studied yet. damn it.
it has only been approximately 3 hours since i arrived at puncak, and already i miss home...
but i do miss my friends too and i can't wait to see them =)
and i miss bumping into him.. but damn it he's taken.. *sigh*

Phew..............

Finally, classes for this semester are finally over. No more going to class, no more having to climb up and down the stairs to go to class, no more having to endure the fight with sleepiness in class, no more dramas, no more stress, and most importantly, NO MORE ASSIGNMENTS!!!!!! Woooooooooooooohoooooooooo!

But the end of classes also means no more hanging out after class, no more goofing off in class, no more joking with a handful of great lecturers, no more checkin’ out people going to and coming back from class, and most importantly, the start of the study week, meaning EXAMINATIONS!

These last couple of weeks has been the hardest of all. Assignments were up to our noses, most of them pending and were done at the 11^th hour (sumpah xtipu!). More dramas ensued as a result of too much stress that collided with one another. Important errands were done at the last minute. All of which put so much stress on our shoulders. When stress + erratic weather come together, it could only mean one thing = SICKNESS.

Most of us are sick right now because of those two things. I myself has been sick for approximately two weeks, with the sickness ranging from flu, cough, fever, and now, all of those combined. I watched a screening last Friday (3 Budak Melayu, best heehee) and fits of coughs can be heard separately apart from my own.

But now that all of these things had come and pass, it is now time to relax and unwind a little, but preparations for the exams has to be made too. I hope that I could retain my pointers which was quite good actually last semester. I wish that I’ll get into the Dean’s List again. I want to make my parents proud and prove to them that while I might play around a lot instead of focusing on my studies, I can still do well in it. I will also prove to them that the course I’m taking is not as easy as it seems AT ALL and that it had taught me a lot of things that I could use in life later on and that it would be useful for me succeed in life.

Alas, I now can continue on to study week, and finally, EXAMS!!!!!! And finally finally, H O L I D A Y ! ! ! ! !

p/s: agak skema la post yang ni. Huahah.

to singapore, or not to singapore...

that is the fucking question that made my head spin for the last few days. i wanted to go, i really really do! i've been waiting for the day where my cousin finally invites me to go with her. but when she did, she picked the worst weekend there is. she wanted to go this friday until sunday, but i have sociology with mr.norman, and he is very very strict about attendency. and then there's silat on saturday, which will be double classes cause we didn'thave any last week! and assignments are up to my nose and i'm almost drowning in it. i hadn't renewed my passport and i dont want to ask mummy the money for it cause she will be going away for her second umrah but this time she'll be going with my eldest sister. and going for an umrah will require a lot of money, so i don't want to add to the burden of asking more for the singapore trip+renewing my passport. and next month i'm going to be needing more money to pay for our class fund and i'll have to pay rm200 for it and that's already a lot of money right there.

i've made a deal with mr.norman that i'll do an extra assignment instead of attending his class. and i will try to persuade my silat teacher to let me off this saturday and i will repeat the double class during the morning session. that means that i'll be attending both morning and afternoon silat classes on saturday. all these will burden my for the next month, the last month of the semester. there's just soooooooo many things preventing me from escaping to singapore for the weekend. i'm tired by just thinking about whether to go or not.it's already tuesday and i still haven'tmade up my mind yet. help me! =(

manis @ indiegoodness @ mcpa

best gila!
i'm officially not a gig virgin anymore!
sebenarnya, ni lah gig pertama aku
pergi pun sbb xpernah pegi, and nak support band Manis
memang best gile
lompat2 xingat dunia punye!
hahahahaah
Manis was awesome!
rock on Lead! and Wiem! and Syuk! and Achin! and Aiena! and Halim! =)

mummy....

nak balik! rindu kt mummy ku. dan rindu tido atas katilku yang empuk di dalam bilik ku yg sentiasa dingin... *sigh*

ku tak berani mati

mmg xberani mati. tp teater Berani Mati mmg best! walaupun terlambat dan sempat tgk 1/3 je dr keseluruhannya, tp mmg sempat gelak2 and terpegun dgn teater tu. it was very, very cynical. sempat buat lawak time hampir nk kene ambush hahahahahhh! the actors did a very good job in their acting. the characters were all different and full of humour in times of desperation hahahh!

agak disappointed la xdpt tgk full. and a bit menyesal xtgk time pementasan kt DBP arituh. *sigh*

talentime for me?

it has been almost 2 weeks and thank goodness for zul's broadband lol!. quite a few things happened this week, most notably the film promotion held by our seniors. the movie were Talentime by Yasmin Ahmad, and Skrip 7707 by none other than Prof Razak. both movies were okay, but Talentime was awesome! it was raw and honest and true to its nature and overall, Yasmin Ahmad did a great job. although the format of the movie was quite the same as her previous movies, but Talentime was unique in its own way and really tugs the heart =) i'm sure to be watching the movie again when it comes out in the theaters =D

i'll be going to gig this sunday @ MCPA. imma watch and support my friends' (who are also my seniors) band performing, MANIS!!! woooohoooo! their EP was great and i can't wait to hear them play live for the first time, seeing them in action! lol. other than that, assignments are up to my nose as always and again i'll be very very busy. will be going home this weekend and hope that the modem has been fixed =). it's been raining a lot and i absolutely love it. it makes everyday a lovely, mellow day =)

ttyl. xoxo.

home sweet, sweet home!

finally, i am at home! got back last night right after screening.
the movie was a bore, and i have no idea what to write about for the sociology assignment!

anyways, due to a lack of finance, i didn't eat for 3 days. right after my sister pick me up from puncak, we went straight to the nearest McDonald's drive through and i chowed down on a cheeseburger with fries + coke. *note: i DON'T eat meat, except when i am really really, truly hungry.* so, as you now know, i was really really truly hungry lol!.

and today, i went out with my papa and youngest sister. he treated us to some shopping treatment. bought myself a black skinny jeans and a long cardigan, both i've been raving about wanting them for much too long! had tea at dome and was sent to pavilion to meet up with my eldest sister and mummy dearest. we wanted to watch slumdog millionaire (heard that the movie was a masterpiece) but it was full. continued on by just walking around and going into random stores. bought meself an anti-frizz serum to tame my hair which apparently has a mind of its own =S i also bought a pair of purple jelly shoes on sale, and finally, "Once" dvd! i've been dying to watch it. the soundtrack was amazing, i'm sure the movie will be too =)

afterwards, had dinner at subways (LOVE the sandwiches!) and mummy bought some cream puffs. i wanted j.co donuts but didn't want to ask money from mummy to buy em. oh well, went home afterwards and posed for the camera a bit. my lil sis sucked at taking pictures so i took hers too instead. it was an okay day and tomorrow will be a relaxing day i hope though i have to go out to buy some groceries .... =S

ttfn, xoxo.

its friday

and i can't wait to go back home. i miss my mum n sisters sooo much!
i have nothing else to do now and i am able to go back now if i want to... except that there'll be a rehearsal for our monologue test this coming tuesday, and a screening tonight for sociology test.... blergh.... nak balik.... mummy i miss you! *pouts*

1st half of the semester...

this time, his semester, is quite a challenging one for me. mostly mentally and emotionally.. there's sooooooo many things happening in my head right now that i hope i can still keep my sanity until the semester's over. mcm2 masalah from the start of the semester up until now. first, validation bangang, nasib baik selesai. then silat. dpt petang. try to change it to morning, xdpt, frust gile babi punye frust. then kt rumah lagi. pastu aritu problem with one of my friends, took all the blame and assignments jgn ckp ar... bertimbun2. psycho buat aku psiko! assignment bangsawan xdpt cari rujukan langsung. i'm supposed to go to Jason Mraz's concert on the night of 4th of march, bought the tickets already, but i'm gonna be having my acting test that night. on the same day there'll be a photoshoot and an event with the seniors where i think we're supposed to help them. how am i able to go watch jason sing bella luna then!!!!!!!!!!! and now showcase pulak. aiyo. fuck ar. hope i won't sink into depression or something cause i think that it's actually coming my way...

showcase

oh my goodness... pening gile... nak join showcase... but they're all full...
i should've registered earlier... skarang dah kabut kan...
padan muke diri sendiri. serves me right... =(

i still am should be doing assignments

haaahaaa! =P

*sigh*

still crazy about twilight.

this is just something i did during my free time. I was thinking about Twilight, and wondered about Bella's perspective if Edward never came back and she recalled all the good things about him years after the last goodbye...

I still remember him. I can almost perfectly recall his angelic face in what is left of my imagination. I can see him smiling my favorite, his left mouth turned up higher, making it look crooked. His smile reached up to his eyes, but his frozen marble face wouldn’t let any trace of the slightest of wrinkles appear. His dirty bronze hair billows in the wind, the only part of him that is free from eternal freeze. I remember the way he ran his beautiful, perfect hands through the softness of his hair, a sign of nervousness, one of the new feelings he picked up during those days when we were together.

The way his face turned smooth with no signs of feeling when he’s either angry or irritated, always being a gentleman. The pure horror in his eyes during the times when we had fun with truth or dare, and I dared him to eat human food. The way he sprinted through the lush, green woods on the usual walks we had together to mock show-off for my own personal gain of humor. The sneaky little notes we sent each other in the classes we had together, my scrawls ruining his elegantly flawless handwriting, or manuscript to be precise.

The way our hands intertwined and fit perfectly in one another. When he absentmindedly buried his face in my hair and plant a nice, soft kiss. The way he traced his hands along my face, being extra careful because of my fragile nature. I remember the sound of his laughter, like the sound of bells ringing in the distance. The wonderful scent that came naturally with him, the smell that I can’t seem to get enough of, the scent that left me wanting more of him. I remembered our bodies, delicately intertwined, him curving his to match my natural one. His hard, cold lips lightly touching my soft ones, moving together in harmony, sending waves of pure pleasure throughout myself. The thought that all of these proved that he do, too, love me as much as I love him, if not more.

It has been 42 years, and he is out there somewhere, forever 17, still carrying with him something that has been his since the first time we met; my heart.

apabila ku patut mencari bahan untuk assignment....

ku online
kemak zul!
=P
huahahahahahah hmmm....

fuck psychology..... =(

skips a beat

*sigh*
he's soooo damn adorable
a super simple and quiet guy
but adorable nonetheless =)

accidents

do happen.

fuck it.....!

blergh....

silat truly ruined my mood for today
i chose the wrong group that practices at 4pm and NOT in the morning
and have i told that it's on a fucking saturday?
fucking fuckity fuck fuck!
how am i suppose to go back home if i had to go to silat practices at 4pm on saturdays?!!?!!??!!
fuck it
now my mood is totally ruined
and my holidays have the potential to suck in accordance to my future sulkingness.
damn it!
i will try my best next week to switch groups.
if i were not to succeed, help me.....

almost confession of a (kinda) broken heart...

oh my. my heart is hurting. again.
when i thought that the light was going to finally, fully shine through
darkness came creeping sprinting in full speed.

i was finally elated
my heart was finally rid of the ache that had set a few months ago
my friends all kind of congratulated me
pushing me closer and closer to that person
made me happy and happier with each smirks from my friends
whenever that person was around
i was almost on cloud nine...

but then, that person became happy again
and my (love) life turned upside down yet again
i was sad again
but it doesn't matter
i don't want to wait again
it kills me each and every time i see them
but now
i'm happy for that person if they are happy themselves
and i shall move on
and find someone else
someone much, much better
for me =)

<3